The Nightly Show
by Zoraboy
Summary: A spoof off of The Daily Show. Link is your host giving you the funniest news on television.
1. Episode 1

All right I don't own Zelda or The Daily Show. If I did I would not  
  
ben doing this I would be swiming in my champang filled pool with Bill  
  
Gates.  
  
Key: =actions  
  
()=thoughts  
  
theme song plays while showing the crowd. Camera turns to Link  
  
Link: Hello welcome to The Nightly Show. I'm your host Link.  
  
Before we begin with the rest of our show we have some ergent news.  
  
President Bush died............... his hair.   
  
one person claps and laughs  
  
Link: Wow tough crowd. Whell for our first story we'll go live to  
  
Hylian Lake with coraspondant Gonzo the Pirate. Gonzo.  
  
Gonzo: Thank you Link. A lot of deaths tonight Link. Sadly(yeah right)the informing  
  
Kapereo beloved owl(God who rights this crap) died today. Everyone is  
  
morning about this sad event.  
  
Link: A Gonzo I don't mean to interupt but there seems to be some sort  
  
of celebration in the background.  
  
Gonzo: MAN LINK GIVE ME A BREAK! All right I'll leavle with you. NO  
  
ONE LIKED HIM. He was so anoying that everyone is celebrating. Even  
  
me.  
  
Link: Is that a axe behind you back Gonzo.  
  
Gonzo: Aaaaaaaa. Sorry we seam to be breacking upmakes static noises  
  
back to you Link.  
  
Link: Ok. Well now we have a exclusive interview Din the Goddess of  
  
Power and Orcle of Seasons.  
  
camera turns to Din walking onto stage and fallows her to her seat  
  
Link: Welcome to the show.  
  
Din: Thanks Link glad to be here.  
  
Link: So your the Goddess of Power correct.  
  
Din: Yes that would be true.  
  
Link: Does it ever get boring being a goddess.  
  
Din: Yes. Espicial when you give annoying little brats wearing green  
  
clothes whith triphorces on there hands special weapons and they don't  
  
thank you.(arnt I being specific enough)  
  
Link: Hey thats to bad. I'll tell Mido to stop bothering you.  
  
Din:Ok thank you Link(God how stupid are you, you twit. Do I have to  
  
spell it out for you.)  
  
Link: Well thank you for joining us.  
  
Din: (seya)Goodbye you twit.  
  
Link: What?  
  
Din: Crap I mixed what I was thinking and what I was supposed to say.  
  
Link:confused faceSorry I don't speak spanish. Well goodbye.  
  
Link: Well today Ganon gave a speech today from atop his tower. Here   
  
is the speech.  
  
Ganon:yelling WERE GOING TO GO TO KOKORI FOREST THEN WERE GOING TO  
  
ZORA HALL THEN LON LON RANCH THEN WERE GOING TO GO TO HYRULE CASTLE  
  
AND TAKE IT BACK!!  
  
Link:hidding behing desk, peaks over A excused be sir but that thing  
  
in front of youironic voiceit's a microphone.  
  
Link:Now we have a interview with someone who watched the speach.turns  
  
to screen  
  
Kokori Kid: I wish that Ganon would stop trying to take of Hyrule.  
  
I wish he could have just lived a normal life.  
  
Link: But if Ganon lived a normal life then I would have never left   
  
Kokori Forest and then I would have never stoped the moon from  
  
crushing Termania wich means............TO THE TIME MACHINE BATMAN!  
  
Link: Now we go to our coraspondant Marin. Marin  
  
Marin:to wolfoes fighting in backgroundThank you Link.  
  
Link: How did this start Marin.  
  
Marin: Well it started herepoints then over therepoints then it  
  
went and the whole pack joined inpoints and this all started because  
  
someone lost a Link signed trading card.  
  
Link: Why would Wolfoes care about my trading card. THE FREAKING  
  
TRYIED TO KILL ME.  
  
Marin: WEll it turns out they love you herekicks open door  
  
huge shrine glowing and playing holy music  
  
Link: Wow. This is strange.  
  
Marin: I know now over here Walks to Empty spot this is were you  
  
Were supposed to be, but the didnt get you Because you wiped out   
  
there race in a bloody MASSACRE!!  
  
Link: Well thats my job.  
  
Link: Thank you all for watching. Now get off your butts and start  
  
doing something besides watching TV. Stay classy Hyrule.plays theme  
  
song  
  
Credits  
  
Author Zoraboy  
  
Host Link  
  
Coraspondant Gonzo  
  
#2 Marin  
  
Special Thanks to Kokori Kid for helping my creat this. 


	2. Episode 2

I don't own Zelda so leave me alone. O and I don't own the Daily Show either.  
  
camera show audiance while playing theme song;turns to Link Link: Hello welcome to the Nightly Show. I'm you host Link. For are first story we go to coraspondant Gonzo. Gonzo.  
  
Gonzo: Thank you link. Today in Kokoriko Village 2 banks were robed.  
What am I saying they only have 1 bank. In fact the bank robbers came in and founded a bank. They made acount offers, they gave away tosters.  
Then they robed there own bank. What were they on when they thought up that plan.  
  
Link: Well interesting. Whare were all the nights Gonzo.  
  
Gonzo: Well Link. Princess Zelda had a press confrence today and they had raised the homeland security leavel yesterday so they needed more guards.  
  
Link: O yes I forgot to tell you guys last time. They just raised the Ganon threat leval. They were on "be afraid" they skipped "be very afraid" and went right to "So scared you can't wet your pants".  
  
Gonzo: Yes. We have all kinds of security. Patrol boats, guards, and tons and tons of viseous dogs. So if Ganons planing anything involving cats. Think again. Back to you Link.  
  
Link: Thank you Gonzo. And now we go to coraspondant Marin were we are at the Ganon press confrence. Over to you Marin.  
  
Marin: Ganon is about to speak. Here he is.  
  
Ganon: I had spys at Zelda speech and she asked some questions. I would like to answer those questions.......  
  
Link: A, C, The Santa Maria, Gold Finch, Pete Best, and its a trick question, You dont bery survivors.  
  
Link: We'll be right back.  
  
Comercial: Yes this product is #1. Sidefect are rolls huge list and in some cases death.  
  
Link: Weclome back. Today we have an interview with Miku of the Indi-gos give it up.  
  
camera turns to Miku and fallows him to stage  
  
Link: Welcome Miku.  
  
Miku: Hey man thanks for havin me.  
  
Link: Hey man so how are you hangin in the Rock bizz?  
  
Miku stares a LinkMiku: What the heck are you on.  
  
Link: I just wanted to talk cool..... So you play guitar. Do you wright any songs. No we leave that up to the piano dude. I just can't seem to come up with songs.  
  
Waitress: Sir would you like another drink.  
  
Miku: Sure. Hit me baby, one more time. Hey that could be a song.  
No that wont work.  
  
Link: So what band would you say your in compition with the most.  
  
Miku: What do you bloody mean. Were the only freaking band.  
  
Link:looks at camera man What? No we can't be out of Time already.  
I can't be. No you wrong.  
  
Camera Man: You freaking idot your out of time.throws watch at Link  
  
Link:link picks it up Well what do you know. Were all out of time.  
Seya. theme song plays and credits roll 


End file.
